More Marketing Assistance

Our crowds this year haven't been that great. The Broncos one was good, but the last two have been under 10 000, which is a worry. It's a shame (in a way) that Sonny Bill is still injured, because he would've been a bit of a carrot to get people through the gates.

Here's a suggested entertainment itinery that'll hopefully entice a few more punters to the Graveyard on Saturday. I hope you're listening Storm HQ!

• 5:00pm - 'On the couch with Scooter and Jamie'. Scott and Feeney sit on a couch in the middle of OP and discuss what's great about Melbourne in comparison to their Bulldog days. Embarrassing stories are told about current Bulldogs players and the ones with very small penises are also outed.
  

• 5:20pm - 'Desexing the Enemy'. I think people would like to see this. Robbie Kearns assists a vet in cutting the balls off a dog. The whole process is equated with what the Storm will shortly do on the paddock.

• Throughout the game - 'The Dog Track'. People are allowed to watch the game from the athletics track if they bring a leashed dog with them and wear a Storm jersey. It'll send a message to all the players and ties in nicely with how the Storm are marketing this game.

• Halftime - 'Billy Slater Live'. Billy recreates his try from origin 2 and gives us deep insights into the magic of the moment.

• Postgame - 'Fan Conference'. Like a press conference, but for fans. Held out the front of the Western grandstand, we get to ask Bellamy what went right or wrong and offer him handy tips, which I'm sure he'll take on board.
  

Everyone would go home pretty happy if all that was on offer. Oh, and if we look like losing, the people on the athletics track are allowed to let their dogs off the leash...